Narrated Abdulah bin ‘Amr bin Al-‘Aas, may Allah be pleased with both, that “A Bedouin came to the Apostle of Allah, peace be upon him [pbuh] and said: O Messenger of Allah, what are the Grand Sins? He [pbuh] said: To join others in worship with Allah. [The bedouin] said: What else? He [pbuh] said: To be undutiful to one’s parents. [The bedouin] said: What else? He [pbuh] said: The dipping oath. [The Bedouin] Asked: What is the [meaning of] “dipping oath”? He [pbuh] said: The false oath through which one deprives a fellow Muslim his property unjustly”.
[Reporter: Al Bukhari Rank: Authentic]
In another Hadith, narrates Abdullah bin ‘Amr, may Allah be pleased with both, that the Messenger [pbuh] once asked: “Shall I inform you of the Grand Sins? We said: Certainly O Messenger of Allah. He [pbuh] said: “To join others in worship with Allah, Being undutiful to the parents, and Murder”. [Al Bukhari]
One of the grand sins in Islam is for one to be undutiful to either parents or both. Although eastern societies in general and the Muslim societies in particular, suffer to a lesser extent than their Westerners counterpart from this problem, nevertheless we hear from time to time about cases as such taking place amongst us. Needless to say, the punishment of Allah for such an act is certainly severe, and it may be paid off during one’s life, in the hereafter or in both if one fails to repent.
Narrated Abdullah bin Omar, may Allah be pleased with both, that the Apostle of Allah [pbuh] said: Three [types of people] Allah shall not look at them on the Day of Judgment: The undutiful to his parents, The male-like acting woman, imitating men (aka: Tom Boy) and the Pimp. [Reporters: Imam Ahmad & an-Nasaa’ie, Rank: Authentic].
His saying [pbuh]: “Allah shall not look at them” means He shall not honor them, but to the contrary He shall give them disgrace, humiliation and chastisement.
Among the many and various forms of being undutiful to the parents are:
• Calling them over the phone once a year or once in a blue moon to say “Happy Father’s Day” or “Happy Mother’s Day”.
• Placing them in nursing homes.
• Raising the voice or a hand on them.
• Insulting or humiliating them in private or in public.
• Neglecting them including the financial support.
Al-Zamakhshari reported that a man came to the Prophet of Allah [pbuh] complaining about his father taking his money. The Prophet of Allah [pbuh] [instructed] that the man be called. When he came, he was in his senior age leaning on a staff. When the Prophet [pbuh] inquired from him the complaint of his son, he said: When he was weak, and I am in my strength, and he was poor and I am rich, I used not to stop him taking anything from my money. Now that I am weak and he’s strong, and I’m poor and he’s rich, he’s getting miser on me with his money.
The Prophet of Allah [pbuh] wept and said: “No stone or a rock hears this but will cry”. He then called on the son and said: “You and your wealth belong to your father, you and your wealth belong to your father”
The parents are two gates for entering paradise. If one of them dies, the other one is still there for you. If both die, you are on your own, do good to earn good.
Lord, enable me to be grateful for Thy favors, which thou hast bestowed on me and on my parents, and that I may work the righteousness that will please Thee: And admit me, by Thy Grace, to the ranks of Thy righteous Servants. Amen.